Its Me... The Girl...

Long time, no post....

n now, im here..

act, ive forgot d mail n pwd for this blog..

but somehow, suddenly, i remembered it back..

The Posts from Him.....

i have read.

n now i wanna confess something.

I HAVE, I DO, I AM, I WILL, & I ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER.

i have tried to love someone else.

but i still cant get u out of my mine.

WHY???

because.....

u said "im ur true love"

u said "u cant be together"

u said "ure not there went i needed u"

u said "i cant accept u"

&

&

&

&

&

now i will say:

yes, im wrong.

yes, u cant be wid me.

yes, im bad.

yes, im very mean.

yes, its my fault we are apart now.

yes, i do want u back.

yes, u true, i cant have u.

yes, im not there for u.

yes, yes, & yes.

I LOVE YOU.

but it wont give any difference rite?

im wrong.

people said, "past is past"

but i said, "past is not past"

ure still in ma head!

i hate u for that..

act, i hate myself for that.

what spell have giv me??

just tell me where i can be cure???

where?

I AM SUFFERED FOR MY OWN MISTAKESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS..

TOO MANY MISTAKESSSS..

& yes.

may b u all will say,

im d one who stupid, la la la la la.....

YES, IM WRONG.

i dont deserve for any chance.

why m i writing this all??

coz i juust dun noe where i shud say all this.

I LOOK STUPID

I DON'T CARE

n i noe..

no matter how hard tried,

u will never be mine again.

NEVER.

rite guys??

all i wanna say,

im deeply SORRY.

its ok even ure not mine.

i will never try to get u out of my head because u never will..

&

THANK YOU.

for making me realize who u really are in me.

THANKS.

gudluck wid ur life.

I LOVE YOU.

salam.

sy syg awk smpai mati..

bila sy rindu..
sy curi2 bukak fb awk..
mmg slh tp sy nak sgt tgk awk skrg cmne..
sy tgk pic awk epy bsame kawan2 bru awk..
sy wat2 epy wlupon ati sy cemburu..
diorg semua dkt ngan awk..
sy cemburu ble tgk gmbr awk bdua ngan laki..

ari ni sy mimpi awk xda lg..
sy tkut bnda tu btol2 berlaku..
sy tjage sy rase pipi sy basah..

sy taw sy jauh dr awk..
sy x dpt jumpe awk ari2..
sy taw sy kuat cemburu n x sporting..
sbb slalu tnye awk mcm2 ble awk nak kluar..

tp ati sy nak bgtaw 1 je kat awk..
sy syg awk lbh dr sgalanya..
wlupon nyawa sy..

sy syg awk giler2..

dulu awk pnah tumpang kawan laki blk uma..
sy trase sbb awk x bgtaw sy..
Ya Allah cemburunya sy time tu..

dulu awk nak kluar ngan kawan2 awk..
tp awk tkut nak bgtaw sy..
awk ckp mst sy x bg sbb sy kuat kongkong..
mgkin tu slh sy..
tp sbenarnye sy slalu tnye diri sy..
slmt ke awk ble kat luar nnt?

dulu awk suruh sy keje time sy cuti pjg..
tp sy rase berat hati..
sbb mgkin x dpt luangkan mase ngan awk slalu..
awk janji xkan berubah..

last2 sy keje jgk sbb nak kumpul duit nak jumpe awk..
sy simpan sikit utk ajak fmly sy dtg jumpe fmly awk..
x lame pon sy keje..
awk mintak putus..
sy sdh sgt..
rase cam gelap ari ni..
awk nak kite jd kawan..
sy sudi sbb sy nak slalu bsame awk..

sy syg awk sgt2..

dulu awk knalkan sy kt kwn2 n lecturer awk..
sy rase agak segan..
tp dlm ati sy bangga sbb awk brani n x rahsiakan hbngan kite..

dulu awk pnah nak wat suprise dtg kl lwat mlm utk jmpe sy..
sy mara awk n kite gduh..
sy sgt risaukan awk time tu..
awk tido lena dlm ktm..
tp sy xleh tido kat blik sy sbb tkt pe2 jd kat awk..

dulu awk ckp awk dpt smbung dgree kat uitm mlake..
awk risau x dpt blaja kat tmpat bru..
sy suruh awk pergi sbb pntgkan mase depan awk..
tp dlm ati sy sgt takut awk akan epy kat sane smpai lupekan sy..

sy syg awk..

ari tu sy bkak album kite..
sy tgk pic kite yg sy pnah letak kat loker sy..
sy pejamkan mate..
bygkan smua yg pnah lalui bsame awk..
rindunye sy kat awk..

ari tu sy dgr lgu gadisku..
sy igt dulu awk pnah suruh sy menkan gtar n nyanyikan utk awk..
wlupon suara sy x sedap tp xpe sy nak tgk awk epy..

ari tu sy tgk pic bebear awk..
dulu awk slalu mntk sy blikan..
tp sy slalu ckp nnt..
bkn sy xnak bli tp tgu mase yg seswai..
time aniversary sy wat suprise letak bebear n bunge choc kat kete awk..
sy ske tgk reaksi awk ble dpt adiah tu..

peristiwa..

smlm die kol aku..tp aku tgh on kol ngan kawan aku ttg esemen..
die sgka aku tgh gayut ngan gf..
lalu die ckp die xnak ggu aku lg..

tp realitinya aku bknlah smudah tu utk mcari pganti..
sdgkan atiku msh teringat die..
cmne aku nak mcintai org len..
die sgka cinta aku mudah ditukar ganti..
tp die silap..
cinta aku tulus suci..

adakah kamu dah lupa sape yg sggup berubah utk dirimu?
kamu suruh aku jd mcm2,aku tunaikan utk dirimu..
kali terakhir kamu mintak aku x cemburu n kongkong hidupmu..
aku x wat lg cmtu..
tp kamu ckp kamu rindukan aku yg dulu..
kenapa?
sdgkan kamu yg nak aku berubah..

kamu tau x betapa hancur atiku?
kamu tau x betapa byk tangisan ku gugur?
aku mcintai kamu lbh dr sgalanya..
kenapa kamu nak kan diriku yg dulu?
sdgkan dulu aku kuat cemburu n kawal hidupmu..
kamu benci aku bgtu..
kamu komen cara aku..
sdgkan saat tu aku terlalu mcintaimu..

kenapa kamu x fikir smua tu?
kenapa kamu x hargai diriku yg dulu?
aku harap kamu phm perasaan aku..
dulu aku pnah kol kamu..kamu gyut ngan lame..
aku bersabar untuk dgr suaramu..

kenapa aku msh mrinduimu wlau beban ni sgt berat?
sdgkan kamu mgkin sudah ade yg len..
wlupon kamu xnak ngaku..
x pnah aku merasa hampa sebegini spjg hayatku..
melihat kamu berubah sdgkan ati masih mcintaimu..
kesakitan ni xkan hilang..

aku cuba mengganggap tiada ape yg blaku..
aku cuba mpertahankan dirimu dan keputusanmu..
tp pernah x kamu fikir sedalam mana aku terluka keranamu?

hargailah org yg myayangi dirimu..
ucapkanlah syg stulus atimu..
jgn bdusta pd diri n ati sndri..

memendam ati yang terluka..

helo..hye..salam..
spt bese aku ingin mluahkan perasaan ku di cni..
aku xtaw nak bgtau kat sape..
bia la aku abadikan kat cni..

die mntk aku jd kawan..jd aku menerimanya..
tp aku xtau ni kptusan yg btol utk diri aku ke x..
mmg aku akui mmg sakit utk menahan sgala perasaan ni..
perasaan cinta yg ade terpaksa disembunyikan..

kdg2 aku sgt pnat..tp aku x mampu nak benti..
adakah aku terlalu buta?
ataupon sggup mderita kerana cinta?
atau terlalu bodo utk terima suma ni?

saat aku cuba hlgkan perasaan ni..
die dtg mbuat aku rindu..
kmudian dia hlg alek dan aku terpaksa memendam perasaan ni lg..

1 ari 2 die ckp nak stdy..
aku pon ckp ok..
x lame pastu aku kol nak dgr sore die jap..
pggln ptama x diangkat...
pggln kdua diangkat dan aku dgr bunyi bising..
die ckp die da kat tesco n aku dgr sore laki..
aku tros diam n die letak fon..
diam kerana aku cube thn perasaan ni..
wlupon pale aku tlintas bnda yg aku xnak pk kan..

ble aku kol,slalu nye mmg byk bunyi msg yg msuk kat fon die..
wlupon ati ni trase,tp aku terpaksa tahan lg perasaan ni..
sbbnye,aku hnya kawan die..
tp sbnrnye aku la kawan yg plg myayangi n mcintai die..
cmtulah dugaan yg terpaksa ku lalui wlupon
sedar atau x,perasaan ni mmg myakitkan klu kite
da rela bkorban utk cinta..

Even though I tell it not to go,
Even though I tell it to stop
My heart keeps going towards you
It doesn’t wear out, it doesn’t decrease
Why is my love like this?

One by one, I count and count the memories
My heart can’t rest for even a moment
It’ll just become baggage that becomes hard to control
Why can’t I even throw them away?

Really, my heart must have done something somehow
I must have become a fool that’s blind from love
Just one place, everyday one place
Looking at the sad light that is you
Even the tear glands must be broken
My tears won’t stop
I love only you, only you
Can’t you just tell me?

Even if I hold out my hands,
No matter how much I call out
You’re always far from me
It’ll be a love that becomes painful scars
Why can’t I erase it?

Really, my heart must have done something somehow
I must have become a fool that’s blind from love
Just one place, everyday one place
Looking at the sad light that is you
Even the tear glands must be broken
My tears won’t stop
Just one word, the one phrase that you love
Can’t you just tell me?

I try to comfort myself with the lie
That I’m happy if you just smile
Because the place you’re going towards is not me
The lonely tears flow

Really, my heart must have done something somehow
I must have gone crazy over this hard love
Can’t have you, can’t forget you
Waiting for you day by day

I must have gotten ill from missing you so much
From loving you too much
Just one thing, your heart, that one thing
Can’t you just share it with me

Can’t you love me……………………………..